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what's the matter with you?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 @ 7:00 PM
school again. history lesson was totally cool. guess why i said cool... it's because we faced the wall for the whole 2 periods. :D cause we didn't bring the bloody paper. I thought i used to be so strong. but.. lil did i know, i used the wrong way of being strong. Closing one eye &opening one eye. it's of no use. trying to help people around me. but it seemed that i'm so useless. i've no idea why i'm like so bodoh. When my friends feel down, i don't know how to persuade them. I don't know how to help them. I don't know what to do to stop them from dropping a tear. I DONT KNOW! I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO HELP MYSELF! how am i suppose to help others when i don't even know how to help myself. Damn it! I soooooooo wanna scold vulgarities. I wanna help him sooo much. but i guess in his heart, he might be thinking that i'm forcing him. I don't know what to do. seriously~ Each time, when he's with me/msging me, i try to like make him feel happy. but me myself doesn't feel happy at all. i'm always faking a smile in front of him. because of that thing which is stuck in my brain for all these times. I know those love msgs are deep inside him. but in rl, i've no idea what he's thinking. I still hope the fullest of him. hoping him to be good, the best.... alamak. this post like naggy. end here. goodbye. i hope he doesn't make me worry anymore..
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